ACTING IN YOUR ANGER WILL DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP

1. EXPRESS YOUR HURT RATHER THAN YOUR ANGER. Before we become angry, we typically experience some form of hurt. Instead of expressing your anger or hurt feelings of sadness or disappointment, we more commonly lash out in anger.
   The most common message behind a stance of I am angry are “I’M HURTING”. If you initially share those hurt feelings with your partner instead of the fact that you are angry, you have a better chance to avoid fight and start the healing process.Remember, it takes an incredible amount of self control to communicate your hurt feelings.
2. IT’S NOT SO MUCH WHAT YOU SAY BUT HOW YOU SAY IT.
   A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
   The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness (Prov 15;1-2)
   Saying things harshly often starts things going in the wrong direction. When we are not able to control the words that come out of our mouths, we can damage our relationship. It is also helpful to reflect on your past and remember how damaging an effect those outburst and unrestrained words might have upon you.
3. BITE YOUR TONGUE. CONTROL WHAT YOU SAY.
   It is a key to maintain a successful relationship. You should plan ahead in advance how to deal with the strong emotions that have previously propelled you into dangerous verbal expression.
   Whispering to yourself memorized statements. Such as, what my partner is saying to me is hurting me, but I will have a chance to share my thoughts and concerns, when she/he is finished.
4. TAKE TIME-OUT
   To take a time out is good bcos it helps you to get control. You take a time out to get yourself under control, thus protecting you from doing any more damage to your marriage relationship.

Say to your partner, I’m feeling the need to take a time out. Could we come back and talk in a half hour? The goal is to let your partner know that you are not trying to withdraw from or hurt her/him