HOW TO REKINDLE THE WARMTH IN YOUR MARRIAGE

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Many couples who find their marriage in trouble think that the closeness and fire can be brought back simply by having great sex. Many couples in trouble have had a wonderful sex episode only to wake up and the marriage goes back to coldness. These steps could be a more practical way to get that fire back

1. THANK YOUR SPOUSE
Gratitude opens doors. Thank your spouse for the partner and parent he/she has been. Chances are, coldness crept in because there was little appreciation. Thank your spouse for the small and big things

2. STOP COMPLAINING
Go for about two weeks without complaining and you will see the results. Don’t even bring up issues even if they are there

3. APOLOGIZE
You may not think you did wrong, but if your spouse perceives that you did, say sorry. Coldness becomes the norm when people in marriage feel their spouse doesn’t care about their feelings, apologizing shows you do care

4. MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER
Be in the same room, be in the same place, even if you two will just keep quiet; eventually you will open up. Don’t be threatened by the silence. Conversations will not start if you’re absent

5. GO PUBLIC
Something about being around people nudges you to be interact with your spouse. Go for a concert, a stand up comedy, a visit to a children’s home, a charity walk; form new memories to talk about

6. ASK TO HELP
Ask your spouse if there is any way you may assist; to help with the chores, to help with a task, call your spouse when at the Supermarket and ask “Is there anything you need me to buy?” It shows thoughtfulness

7. PRAY
You’d be amazed how many couples say they want a Godly family and yet they don’t pray. Without God, your marriage will lack peace that surpasses all human understanding. Before prayer changes things, it changes us. If you need positive change at home, pray. This praying must be beyond praying for food at the table with the kids because when with children we edit our prayers. Go to your bedroom as a couple and pray

8. PLAY WORSHIP MUSIC
When things are not OK in the marriage the spirit is disturbed, worship music calms the spirit to better nourish the home

9. DO AN ACTIVITY TOGETHER
As your marriage was getting colder, you two drifted apart, find a fun, fulfilling or constructive thing to do together: A chore, a game, an investment, frequent movie dates

10. TOUCH
Go out of your way to touch your spouse, hug, rub the back; it inspires closeness

11. USE LOVING NAMES
Find a loving name to call your spouse: Sweetheart, Darling, Baby and use it often, it automatically warms up the tone of your words

12. GIVE SEXUAL PLEASURE
Finally, having done the above and warmed up to your spouse’s heart, strive to give your spouse great sex

13. BE PATIENT
When your marriage is sick and you give it the medicine of love, remember that daily doses of love eventually heals. It will take some time but keep persisting. Love is not an event.